You Just Really Never Know: The Story of Rick and Kay Warren

You just really never know the story of someone's life.  I was so shocked in a way to read how book author Rick and Kay Warren married.  Below is a small insert from their story.  You can read the entire story at Christianity Today.

Pastor Rick Warren and his wife Kay lost their son earlier this year (2013)  Read more >> Daily Entertainment News

So, I actually wanted you guys to jump right into the story.  This part of the story is starting from the proposal of Rick Warren and if you enjoy reading this small insert, I suggest reading the entire story.

Here we go...

The proposal, as sudden as it was, did not come as a complete surprise to Kay.  The mere fact that he had asked her out signaled that he had serious intentions.  Still, she was not prepared for it, not that soon, and her mind raced to come up with an answer.  "I instantly said to God, okay God, I don't love him.  I 'm in love with his best friend.  What in the world do I say to this guy who has asked me to marry him?"  And God clearly said to me, "say yes, and I'll bring the feelings."  So I said yes.  They kissed for the first time. 

Pastor Rick Warren

It never would have occurred to the proud family and supportive friends who packed the church sanctuary on that sunny June afternoon that the nervous young couple standing before them were virtual strangers who were about to descent into marital hell.  "I remember standing in the back of the church, Kay recalls"  waiting to walk down the aisle, going, "okay God, those feelings that you said you'd bring?  It would be nice if you'd bring those feelings sometime soon.

Theirs had been an unusual courtship, to say the least.  What they had managed to learn about each other during the many months they were apart only seemed to underscore their differences.  The bonds of affection that should have grown stronger had barely taken hold.  Despite their misgivings, they both still believed that God had brought them together, and so they went ahead with the wedding.



Rick Warren and Kay wedding photo from June 21, 1975

The honeymoon was a disaster.  "He was so loving and so tender, and I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him,"  Kay recalls.  "I was scared to death."  She had every reason to be.  Shortly before the wedding Kay revealed to Rick a secret from her past that she had never shared with anyone up to that time.  At the age of three, Kay was sexually molested in the basement of her father's church by the teenager son of the a church employee.  The young man eventually was caught molesting other children in the neighborhood and was sent to juvenile detention for several years.  Kay had never told her parents. 

She told Rick the story simply and without emotion, suggesting that it was "no big deal" when in fact, as she would later admit, it was a huge deal; the psychological trauma haunted her into adulthood.  "I did my best to block it out of my mind," she would write many years later, "but the effects of the trauma began to affect my developing sexuality."  As a teenager she became alternately fascinated and repelled by anything sexual.  She would sneak into her father's study to pore over the Masters and Johnson book Human Sexual Response, which was part of his marital-counseling collection.  While babysitting for neighbors she found a stash of pornography and quickly became addicted to it.  She began experimenting sexually with older friends.  All the while, the good girl part of me loved God passionately and wanted my life to count for something.  The bad girl part of me didn't know how to break the cycle.  So she learned to compartmentalize.  By the time Rick and I got engaged, I was totally messed up.

Kay Warren

All I can say is no judging from my end.  I love it when she says, "the good girl part of me loved God passionately and wanted my life to count for something, but the bad girl part of me didn't know how to break the cycle."  We haven't done what Kay Warren has done, but we have all been in similar situations to hers.  It's like she says she had a good and bad angel on the left and right shoulder of hers.

If you want to read more on how they overcame this obstacle in their lives, please visit Christianity Today.

Other Articles on GOTBOC Magazine

• Encouragement for pastor wives featuring Victoria Osteen, Dr. Tara Rawls-Jenkins, and Kay Warren
• Joel Osteen: The God who closes doors